Weird Al Yankovic Songs Lyrics - Eat It, You Dont Love Me Anymore, Word Crimes, Trapped in the Drive-Thru

 Eat It Song Lyrics
by: Weird Al Yankovic 

How come you're always such a fussy young man?
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan?
So eat it, just eat it

Don't wanna argue, I don't wanna debate
Don't wanna hear about what kinds of foods you hate (woo)
You won't get no dessert 'til you clean off your plate
So eat it, don't you tell me you're full

Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)

 
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken, have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it (eat it), just eat it (eat it)
Just eat it (eat it), just eat it (eat it, woo)

 

Your table manners are a cryin' shame
You're playin' with your food, this ain't some kind of game
Now if you starve to death you'll just have yourself to blame
So eat it, just eat it

 
You better listen, better do what you're told (woo)
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole (ooh)
You better chow down, or it's gonna get cold
So eat it, I don't care if you're full

Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)

 
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt, have some more Spam
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned
Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)

 
Don't you make me repeat it
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)

 
If it's getting cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner, have a light snack
If you don't like it, you can't send it back
Just eat it (ooh-hoo, eat it), eat it (eat it)

 
Get yourself an egg and beat it (oh, Lord)
Have some more chicken (ooh-hoo), have some more pie (ooh-hoo-hoo)
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried

Just eat it (eat it), eat it (eat it)

 
Don't you make me repeat it (oh, no)
Have a banana, have a whole bunch (ooh-hoo-hoo)
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch...

 

You Don't Love Me Anymore Lyrics
by: Weird Al Yankovic  

We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Antichrist

Oh, why did you disconnect the brakes in my car?
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

 

I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again

 You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?

 

You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft

 

Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me any more

 

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire

 
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers

Oh, you think I'm ugly and you say that I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead

 

Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore

Word Crimes Lyrics
by: Weird Al Yankovic 

Everybody shut up, woo!
Everyone listen up!
Hey, hey, hey, uh
Hey, hey, hey

 

If you can't write in the proper way
If you don't know how to conjugate
Maybe you flunked that class
And maybe now you find
That people mock you online

 

Okay, now here's the deal
I'll try to educate ya
Gonna familiarize
You with the nomenclature
You'll learn the definitions
Of nouns and prepositions
Literacy's your mission
And that's why I think it's a

Good time

 
To learn some grammar
Now, did I stammer
Work on that grammar
You should know when
It's "less" or it's "fewer"
Like people who were
Never raised in a sewer

I hate these word crimes

 
Like I could care less
That means you do care
At least a little

 
Don't be a moron
You'd better slow down
And use the right pronoun

 
Show the world you're no clown
Everybody wise up!

 

Say you got an "I", "T"
Followed by apostrophe, "s"
Now what does that mean?
You would not use "it's" in this case
As a possessive
It's a contraction

 
What's a contraction?
Well, it's the shortening of a word, or a group of words
By the omission of a sound or letter

 

Okay, now here's some notes
Syntax you're always mangling
No "x" in "espresso"
Your participle's danglin'

 
But I don't want your drama
If you really wanna
Leave out that Oxford comma
Just keep in mind

That "be", "see", "are", "you"
Are words, not letters
Get it together

 
Use your spellchecker
You should never
Write words using numbers
Unless you're seven
Or your name is Prince

I hate these word crimes

 
You really need a
Full time proofreader
You dumb mouth-breather

 
Well, you should hire
Some cunning linguist
To help you distinguish
What is proper English

 

One thing I ask of you
Time to learn your homophones is past due
Learn to diagram a sentence too
Always say "to whom"
Don't ever say "to who"

 
And listen up when I tell you this
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis
You finished second grade
I hope you can tell
If you're doing good or doing well

 
About better figure out the difference
Irony is not coincidence
And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull
What's figurative and what's literal
Oh but, just now, you said
You literally couldn't get out of bed

 
That really makes me want to literally
Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head

I read your e-mail
It's quite apparent
Your grammar's errant
You're incoherent

 
Saw your blog post
It's really fantastic
That was sarcastic (Oh, psych!)
'Cause you write like a spastic

I hate these Word Crimes

 
Your prose is dopey
Think you should only
Write in emoji
Oh, you're a lost cause
Go back to pre-school
Get out of the gene pool
Try your best to not drool

 

Never mind I give up
Really now I give up
Hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey
Go away!

 

Trapped in the Drive-Thru Lyrics
by: Weird Al Yankovic

Seven O'Clock in the evening
Watchin' somethin' stupid on TV
I'm zoned out on the sofa
When my wife comes in the room and sees me

And she says "is this 'Behind the Music'
With Lynard Skynard?"
And I say I don't know

 
Say, it's gettin' late, watcha wanna do for dinner?

She says "I kinda had a big lunch
So I'm not super hungry"
I said, well you know, baby, I'm not starvin' either
But I could eat"

 

She said "So whadya have in mind?"
I said I don't know what about you?
She said "I don't care, if you're hungry, let's eat"

 
I said that's what we're gonna do!

But first you gotta tell me
What it is you're hungry for!
And she says "let me think,
What's left in our refrigerator?"

 

I said well, there's tuna, I know
She said "That went bad a week ago!"
I said is the chili okay?
She said "you finished that yesterday!"

 

I hopped up and I said
I don't know, do you want to get something delivered?
She's like "why would I want to eat liver?
I don't even like liver!"

I'm like no, I said 'delivered'
She's like "I heard you say liver!"

 
I'm like I should know what I said
She's like "whatever, I just don't want any liver!"

Well I was gonna say something
But my cell phone started to ring

 
Now who could be callin' me?
Well I checked my caller ID

It was just cousin Larry
Callin' for the third time today

 
My wife said "Let it go to voicemail"
I said okay

Where were we? Oh, Dinner, Right
So what do you want to do?

 
She said "why don't you whip up something in the kitchen?"
Yeah, I said why don't you?

And then she said "baby, can't we just go out to dinner, please?"

 
I says no
She says "yes"
I says no
She says "yes"
I says no
She says "yes
Oh, here's your keys"

 

I step a little bit closer
Say okay, where ya want to go?
She says "how about The Ivy?"
I said yeah, well I don't know

I don't feel like gettin all dressed up
And eatin' expensive food

 
She's says "Olive Garden?"
I say nah, I'm not in the mood

And Burrito King would make me gassy
There's no doubt

 
She says "Just forget about it"
I said no, I swear I'm gonna take you out!

Then I get an idea
I says I know what we'll do!

 
She says "What?"
I say, guess?
She says "What?"
I say we're goin' to the drive-thru!

 

So we head out the front door
Open the garage door
Then I open the car doors

 
And we get in those car doors

Put my key in the ignition
And then I turn it sideways
Then we fasten our seat belts
As we pull out the driveway

 

Then we drive to the drive-thru
Heading off to the drive-thru
We're approaching the drive-thru
Getting close to the drive-thru!

Almost there at the drive-thru
Now we're here at the drive thru
Here in line at the drive-thru
Did I mention the drive-thru?

 

Well here we are
In the drive-thru line, me and her
Cars in front of us, cars in back of us
All just waiting to order

 

There's some idiot in a Volvo
With his brights on behind me
I lean out the window and scream
Hey, Whatcha tryin to do, blind me?

 

My wife says "maybe we should park
We could just go eat inside"
I said I'm wearing bunny slippers
So I ain't leaving this ride

Now a woman on a speaker box
Is saying "Can I take your order, please?"
I said yes indeed, you certainly can

 
We'd like two hamburgers with onions and cheese

Then my wife says
"Baby, hold on, I've changed my mind!
I think I'm gonna have a chicken sandwich
Instead, this time"

 

I said you always get a cheeseburger!
She says "That's not what I'm hungry for"
I put my head in my hands and screamed,
I don't know who you are anymore!

 

The voice on the speaker says
"I don't have all day!"
I said, then, take our order,
And we'll be on our way!

 

I wanna get a chicken sandwich
And I want a cheeseburger, too
She's like "you want onions on that?"
I'm like, yeah, I already said that I do

 

Plus we need curly fries
And don't you dare forget it!
And two medium root beers
No, just one, we'll split it"

 

Then I said I'm guessing that
You're probably not too bright
So read me back my order
Let's make sure you got it right

She says "one, you want a chicken sandwich
Two, you want a cheeseburger
Three, curly fries, and a large root beer"

 
Stop, don't go no further!

I never ordered a large rootbeer
I said medium, not large!

 
Then she says "we're having a special,
I supersized you at no charge"

"Oh" and that's all
I could say, was "Oh"

 
And she says "now there is something else
That I really think you should know

You can have unlimited refills
For just a quarter more"

 
I say, great, except we're in the drive thru
So what would I want that for?

Then she says "Wait a minute
Your voice sounds so familiar hey, is this Paul?

 
And my wife is all like "no, that ain't Paul,
Now tell me, who's this Paul?

She says "Oh, he's just some guy
Who goes to school with me

 
I sat behind him last year
And I copied off him in Geometry

I said I know a guy named Paul
He used to be my plumber
He was prematurely bald

 
And he moved to Pittsburgh last summer

He also had bladder problems
And a really bad infection on his toe

 
And she said "Mister, please, you can stop right there,
That's way more than I needed to know!"

And then we both were quiet
And things got real intense

 
Then she says "next window please,
That'll be five dollars and eighty two cents"

So we inched ahead in line
Moving painfully slow
I got a little bored

 
So I turned on the radio

Click, turned it off
Because my wife was getting a headache
So we both just sat there quietly
For her sake

 

Then I looked at her
And she looked back at me
And I said umm,
I think you have somethin'g in your teeth

 

She turned away from me
And then turned back and said "did I get it?"
I said yeah well, I mean, most of it
But hey, ya know, don't sweat it

 

Then she said "how about now?"
I said yeah, almost
There's still a little bit there
But don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast"

 

Now we're at the pay window
Or whatever you call it
Put my hand in my pocket
I can't believe there's no wallet!

 

And the lady at the window's like,
"Well, well, well, that'll be five eighty two"
I turn around to my wife, and say
How much have you got on you?

She just rolls her eyes and says
"I'll pay for this, I guess"

 
So she reaches into her purse
And pulls out the American Express

I hand it to the lady
And she says "oh, dear
It's gotta be cash only

 We don't take credit cards here"

I took back the card and said

 
Gee, really? Well that sucks
And that's when I found out
My wife was only carrying three bucks

 

I said I thought you were
Going to hit the ATM today
She says "I never got around to it
So where's your wallet anyway?

 

And I said never mind,
Just help me to find some change
Now the lady at the window
Is lookin' at me kinda strange

And she says "Mister, please,
We gotta move this line along"

 
I said now hold your stinking horses lady,
We won't be long

So, we looked around inside the glove-box
And check the mat beneath my feet
I found a nickel in the ashtray
And a couple pennies and a dime in the space between he seats

 

Before long I had a little pile
Of coins of every sort
The lady counts it up and says
"You're still about a dollar short"

And now my woman's got this weird look
Frozen on her face
She screams, "you know
I wasn't even really hungry in the first place"

 

And so I turned around
To the cashier again
I shrugged and said okay
Forget the chicken sandwich then

 

So I pick up my change
Pick up my receipt
And I drive to the pickup window
Man, I just can't wait to eat

 

And now we see this acne ridden
Kid about sixteen
Wearing a dorky name tag that says
"Hello, my name is Eugene"

 

And he hands me a paper bag
I look him in the eyes
And I say to him, hey, Eugene,
Could I get some ketchup for my fries?

 

Well he looks at me
And I look at him
And he looks at me
And I look at him

And he looks at me
And I look at him

 
And he says "I'm sorry
What did you want again?"

I say ketchup!

 
And he says "oh yeah, that's right
I just spaced out there for a second
I'm really kind of burnt tonight"

And then he hands me the ketchup

 
And now we're finally driving away
And the food is driving me mad
With its intoxicating bouquet

 

I'm starving to death
By the time we pull up at the traffic light
I say, baby, gimme that burger,
I just gotta have a bite!

 

So she reaches in the bag
And pulls out the burger
And she hands me the burger
And I pick up the burger

And then I unwrap the paper
I bite into those buns
And I just can't believe it
They forgot the onions!