a love letter
Dear A,
Hi, it's me and
in the hopeless longing for something to fill my mind, I suddenly remember you.
Remember seems to be the wrong word to use, for the truth is, your memory never
left me. For quite some time now, you are constantly a part of my consciousness.
I am always wondering where you are, what you are doing, and who are you with (agonizing)
or what is on your mind (wishing to high heavens, I am there).
Well, let us
say I have been somehow hoping but with eyes wide open so I am no longer expecting. As they say, "It hurts to expect too much."
Especially to a person you may never see again.
By this time, I
guess I have finally accepted the fact that you will not be coming back. Well,
I am still hoping to see you again, but I think I have to start
dismissing the possibility that there can be anything deeper between us.
For me, you
will remain just that. A once upon a time friend (?), acquaintance, and love
interest (uh oh!).
After all, the feeling of pain and slight bitterness is still not enough for me to regret ever known you. You are one person who made me real happy once in my life and I will always be grateful for that.
I don't care if what you had shown is genuine or not, or maybe everything is simply a product of my imagination. Smiles and laughter come by hard these days and the happiness you made me feel refreshed my withered and lonely soul.
Once upon a time, you made me feel whole and special. How I wish we have been given time to get to know each other better.
After all, the feeling of pain and slight bitterness is still not enough for me to regret ever known you. You are one person who made me real happy once in my life and I will always be grateful for that.
I don't care if what you had shown is genuine or not, or maybe everything is simply a product of my imagination. Smiles and laughter come by hard these days and the happiness you made me feel refreshed my withered and lonely soul.
Once upon a time, you made me feel whole and special. How I wish we have been given time to get to know each other better.
But still,
there are dreams we create and realities we have to face. For me now, it is the
painful realization of a life ahead without you, of a love lost, and of a seemingly
endless debate within of what could have been.
Some may wonder why I even have to go through all this when there
has never been us. I myself wonder but I can never explain. For I don't want to question the mysteries of love.
Weird as it may sound, I am enjoying the pain. And why? Why do I want to prolong the pain? How come I am no rushing to forget? It is because I do not want to forget or forget that quick. The pain is actually an assurance that you are still the one, that my feelings for you still exist.
As with the rules of nature, I know that however intense the feelings I have for you now, all of this will most likely fade. I may even start wondering what I ever saw in you and what made it so difficult to let go. That moment will be like an awakening from a deep slumber. And I dread that day. Right now, I cannot imagine myself totally over you.
I started this letter looking for a way out and it seems like I cannot stop. I do not know to end this just as I do not know how I would like our end to be.
Yet amidst the confusion and bitterness, I chose to end this letter in a calm mind and a happy heart. With a vow to remain strong, I am letting you go. In all sincerity, I am wishing you the very best. And I hope that even just for a while, even if it is seems impossible, you will at least remember me with fondness...
Weird as it may sound, I am enjoying the pain. And why? Why do I want to prolong the pain? How come I am no rushing to forget? It is because I do not want to forget or forget that quick. The pain is actually an assurance that you are still the one, that my feelings for you still exist.
As with the rules of nature, I know that however intense the feelings I have for you now, all of this will most likely fade. I may even start wondering what I ever saw in you and what made it so difficult to let go. That moment will be like an awakening from a deep slumber. And I dread that day. Right now, I cannot imagine myself totally over you.
I started this letter looking for a way out and it seems like I cannot stop. I do not know to end this just as I do not know how I would like our end to be.
Yet amidst the confusion and bitterness, I chose to end this letter in a calm mind and a happy heart. With a vow to remain strong, I am letting you go. In all sincerity, I am wishing you the very best. And I hope that even just for a while, even if it is seems impossible, you will at least remember me with fondness...
